The wilderness within

 The past can't come back, right?

Because it's over, but I don't know why

My palms were sweaty, chest was tight,

As if I couldn't breathe in sight.

Everything blurry but muffled at the same time.


I thought I had no more life, but somehow

I calmed myself in a quiet, isolated place

Where life felt safe and free from all distractions.

There were no triggers, but suddenly I felt unsafe,

Heart pounding, trying to control my breathing

And be strong. I just kept saying to myself. This will also pass,

That I'm in control of myself and stronger than I seem.


Having faith is difficult in the wilderness.

It's like a repeat cycle, which I thought I'd overcome,

Had just opened up again.

Memories came flooding in, which I'd concealed

In the hidden corners of my head,

But things were blurry, not sealed.


I'm still present here, but my headspace is somewhere else.

I need time to process my emotions in the right way

So that I don't feel it again, because it's a fight-or-flight reaction

That was unnecessary.

I know I'll be fine, but now it's better for me

Just to take a break from life and people around me

So I can maintain peace

 and harmony in my head.


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